Allaahu Akbar, Allaahu Akbar, Allaahu Akbar, Laa ilaaha il-lAllaah, Allaahu Akbar Allaahu Akbar, Wa Lil-laahil-hamd

(Allaah is the Greatest, Allaah is the Greatest, Allaah is the Greatest,there is no god but Allaah; Allaah is the Greatest and to Allaah be all praise)

How I Finally Found Peace - Why I Chose Islam


Assalamu Alaikum! My name is Aabir. I am almost 20 years old, born and raised in the USA, and I reverted to Islam about a year ago. 
My mother came from a very strong Catholic background but she moved away from that when she met my father who didnt group himself in any religion. She thought Catholicism was too strict. She became Christian and so I grew up in a Christian household.
All through my childhood Christianity was practiced strongly with me and my sister. We went to church every Sunday morning and Saturday evening, we were involved in something called Missionettes, which is sort of like Girl Scouts but for Christian girls, and every Summer, me and my sister went to V.B.S. (Vacation Bible School) which was where attended church all day and every day in Summer to learn about the Christian faith, and when we got older we went to an out of state Bible camp in the summer.

However, even though I was surrounded by Christian influence all my life, I practiced it because I was told to and not because I was happy. Although I knew that there was a God out there, which was apparent by the miracles big and small I witnessed every day, I didn’t believe everything Christianity taught and I didn’t feel satisfied by what it had to offer. I had too many questions. There were things that didn’t make sense to me and every time I read a chapter in the bible after that, I thought, “That’s a lie. I don’t believe that.” While I believed there was a God, I didn’t understand why He would have a son, I didnt understand why Jesus (pbuh) dying made everyone saved from their sins, and I didn’t understand why we would call Jesus (pbuh) “God” if he clearly prayed and worshipped God too. 

Also there was sadness in my heart that Christianity was so laxed like the Christians themselves didn’t even fully believe it and they would go against the teachings purposely just because they didn’t care and they were not afraid of what would happen to them. They didn’t fear the God they preached to believe in. It was like they didn’t have respect for God, and that disgusted me.

So I have always been a fan of Music in other languages but my own. One day I went online to a website that allowed me to download music for free, but it also allowed you to make a profile and talk to some of the other users. I had no intention of really speaking with any of the people there. I was there just for the music. But there was one man there who had sent me a message saying hello. He was very respectful to me so I didn’t want to be rude and I replied.

Within the first 10 minutes or so, I had learned that he was Muslim. He asked me if that was a problem and I told him no, people were entitled to their own opinions. I explained to him I just didn’t want him to try to convert me. I lied and said I was happy in my own religion. He was a good listener. He allowed me to talk about my religion and the reasons why I chose it. And I in return allowed him to talk about his religion. I learned that day about Mohammed (saw), the Quran, Allah (swt) and about other things such as Mosques/Masjids and prayer and that the religion of Islam was not called “Muslimism” like I had guessed (I blush now thinking how Ignorant I really was).

I didn’t know why but I actually enjoyed hearing about all of it. I enjoyed knowing that there were people out there who respected their religion the way this man did and gave the appropriate respect to their God. I remember I asked him “Do you ever doubt your religion?” and he told me in big letters “NOOO” and I asked him “Are you happy in your religion?” and again in big letters his response was  “SOO happy”.  He explained that it was not just a religion, but also a way of life.  At that moment I knew there was a very big possibility that I would become Muslim. I was just not fully convinced yet.

                But it was when this man went away for training for his work that I became more serious and my thoughts became actions. When he left I was suddenly thrown back in to my “Christian world” surrounded by Christian people and expected to believe what they believe and do what they do. And I HATED IT!  I felt like I had put my shoes on the wrong foot. I missed hearing about the other side of things and I missed that feeling of love and respect that I got when that man spoke about his religion and this way of life. My doubts about Christianity became stronger and I decided that Christianity was not who I was anymore.  I was without a religion. I was not 100% convinced that Islam was for me yet, but I knew that what I had thought I knew about Islam was only a fraction of the truth, and I knew that could be the case for many other religions out there. I knew I could find one that suited what I believed and what I wanted in a religion.

So I started to do some research. I researched the religions that I could think of.  But none of them gave me that feeling of “Okay this makes sense” that I got from Islam. I decided I would limit my research to Islam and decide once and for all if this was the path I was meant to go down. It seemed the most promising choice. And when I did, I only fell further in love. The more I searched, the more facts I found, the more reasons I saw that Islam was the best religion. I liked that everything that was told in Islam had a reason and an origin. There wasn’t the “I told you, so believe it” attitude that existed in Christianity, when there were so many things left unexplained.

I liked that in Islam there were no contradictions that I found within the Bible. I started watching videos of Muslims speaking about their religion and why they stuck with Islam all these years and I came to a video explaining the doubt I had about Christianity. It identified the verses that didn’t make sense and the aspects about the religion that were flawed and then compared how Islam didn’t have those little uncertainties. It helped me see that Islam was what I was looking for all along. I wanted to believe in only one God and I knew there was one, but I wanted God to get the respect and fear He deserved. I wanted the solidity of the facts and I wanted clarity in the beliefs and I wanted the family feel from all the followers and not awkwardness when you actually followed what the rules were.

All along, I had no idea that my beliefs existed in a religion already because Islam was not talked about or taught in USA. So when I had learned all I needed to know to make the decision, I met another man who helped to teach me the more specifics. HOW to pray and things I should and should not do. And when I had a question, he was there to answer it always and back it up with a verse from the Qur’an or Hadith that would support it. The more he did this the more I knew I made the right choice because there was not a question that was not able to be answered AND supported with evidence. 

And finally when I started praying, and started doing the things I was supposed to do, I felt like I finally had put my shoes on the right feet again. I felt peace and felt like I could breathe and I didn’t worry so much about things that I would normally worry about because I knew I was in good hands.

Before I had started this search into Islam, I was diagnosed with anxiety and severe depression and went on medication that didn’t help, but instead made it worse and there were many times my mind went down a dark path towards ending it all.  Yes, I did try to end it a few times as I recall, even before going on medication. But after I started practicing Islam, it all went away and I started enjoying life again. I knew I was where I was supposed to be. So I said my Shahada, and have been happy and at peace FINALLY as a Muslim. ALHAMDULILLAH 

Of course it was hard telling my family and friends. I lost many friends along the way and my boyfriend after I converted and even lost some family. I even had to change my career choice because what I was going to college for was not acceptable for Islam. My mom and dad were very upset, but things have gotten much better since then. I am now allowed to pray without having to hide it, and I was able to fast Ramadan without very much dislike from the family. I often try to explain Islam to my mother and father and friends and family in hopes they will be able to find their peace like I did and I try not to lose hope because I know that Allah (swt) brought me, an extremely stubborn individual to Islam, and it can happen to anyone at any time. And if nothing else comes from it, my friends and family that do remain were able to learn about Islam from me speaking about it and they don’t feel so hard or negative about the religion like they used to when they didn’t know much and they made their own conclusions or went off what they heard about Islam in Media. My mother now even admitted she looks highly on Muslims for the morals that we are taught and told she is proud of the person that I am today…and I thank Islam for that.

15 comments:

  1. Oh, dear sis!...
    I couldn't stop reading.. what an amazing way of expression!

    I really envy those people who showed you the path ^_^

    and I am proud of having the chance to know you here and engage in your story.. Mubarak your revert to Islam, sis.. you seem to have tasted the essence of Islam, the thing that is beyond explanation..Alhamdulillah!

    Happy to know your mother is proud of you, and pleased that you've succeeded to gain attention.

    May Allah fortify you and grant you with tranquility.

    Jazaki Allah Khiraa.

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  2. Oh thank you sis :)
    I am very happy to know you here as well, I always love when I meet new brothers and sisters

    Yes, I am very thankful for the people that showed me the right way...and all the patience they were able to have with me!

    It took a while before my parents were not so mad with me...

    But I had a lot of great support from my muslim brothers and sisters who guided me in how to handle things...Alhamduillah things are much more comfortable.

    ...and its cute because when someone says something negative about Muslims now (maybe on the TV or news or something), my family gets offended and will yell at the TV because they know the truth about us.

    May Allah (swt) bless you, sis!

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  3. Oh!....

    ....And I liked the new pictures added just fine :)

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  4. MashaAllah sister:) make allah rectify you for that u deserve and inshaallah may hr bless you with the best on this earth and the hereafter..ameen

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  5. Ameen and thank you so much!
    May Allah(swt) bless and reward you as well :)

    and
    May He truly bless all muslims and admit us into Janah for eternal peace and happiness one day soon ameen

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  6. Your post grasped me and I could not stop reading it. I am a Christian but I have a lot of Muslim friends, just as I have a lot of Mormon, Judaism and other religion friends. I respect America's freedom of religion and I love all of my friends, no matter who they are or what religion they are. Even as a profound Christian, I would never disagree or criticize someone from "converting" from one religious belief to some other one.

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  7. @splaterBS

    I am happy you read my story...
    I hope you did not feel in any way I was attacking Christians in the post. I was Chrsitian for many years and I know there are some wonderful people within the religion. and I do believe there is some good within the religion of course, I just learned there was something better out there for me. But I appreciated your view. It is a good character trait for someone to be open minded and not critisize others for converting or choosing to do what will make them happy. After all we are all entitled to our own opinions and such. "Different strokes for different folks"

    Its great to hear that you have some muslim friends! Do they ever teach you about Islam and have you done much research? And whats your opinions about it?

    Have you ever considered converting to Islam?

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  8. Wow ! Mashallah this is very inspirational sister:) and jazakallah to the brother's who encouraged you to convert, it's amazing how Allah (swa) guides people and shows them the right path! I would like to keep in touch, this is my.email n-naila-786@hotmail.es

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  9. @Naila Parveen

    Thank you sis :) I am so greatful to the bothers that helped me to revert and teach how to better myself in general through Islam.
    I know Allah(swt)guides who he wishes so, if it werent for those men, I like to think I still would have come to Islam, but nonetheless I feel so thankful that they were the ones and that they had so much patience with me. ....lol Hopefully they get extra reward for their patience!

    I would love too keep in touch :) So happy to meet another of my sister

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    Replies
    1. Asalam alaikum it's my first time but as I read it make me continue reading to know where ended mashallah u passed very huge obstacles Inshallah hope allah will increase your iman,strong Woman.

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  10. Aselam walkum sister firts of all i would like to say congra coze you came or out from darkness to light May Allah guide all human kind in the right path Ameen and i like your post i feel happiness we Muslims are proud ...any way i like to contact you coze i need to contact new convery to islam really you are more religious than Muslim born so that i like you sister any way Allah knows better keep in touch my e-mail is halibay333@gmail.com

    tnx again may Allah bless you

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  11. You are fortunate. Whoever Allah loves, He guides them. Your story inspires those of us who take so much for granted. What you get with sacrifice is firm and valued.

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  12. Masha Allah sister and im happy for u, may Allah (SWA) guide and protect u.

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